Aubrey Plaza, best known for her roles in Parks and Recreation, White Lotus, and a string of acclaimed indie films, has always been admired for her sharp wit and offbeat charm. Yet, behind the sarcastic humor and dark comedic timing lies a woman who, like many others, has faced deep personal struggles. Recently, Aubrey Plaza said grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” a metaphor that resonates with countless people who have endured loss.
Her statement cuts through the noise of celebrity culture, offering raw honesty about the universal human condition. Grief, often hidden or minimized in public discourse, is something Plaza has dared to describe openly—shedding light on the messy, unpredictable, and transformative journey of mourning.
This article explores Aubrey Plaza’s reflections on grief, the broader psychology of loss, expert perspectives, and the cultural importance of celebrities speaking candidly about mental health and emotions.
Aubrey Plaza’s Words: Grief as an Ocean
When Aubrey Plaza says grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” she encapsulates what many struggle to articulate. The imagery is vivid and relatable. Grief does not come as a linear process or a neatly packaged set of stages—it floods, crashes, recedes, and overwhelms, much like an ocean.
Plaza’s choice of metaphor speaks volumes:
Unpredictability: Just like waves, grief can be calm one moment and devastating the next.
Immensity: The “ocean” reflects its endlessness. Grief is not something that disappears; it is carried with us, sometimes more bearable, sometimes suffocating.
Isolation: Being in an ocean can feel lonely, just as mourning often feels like a solitary experience—even when surrounded by others.
Her description resonates deeply, particularly at a time when global communities continue to endure collective loss through the COVID-19 pandemic, wars, and personal tragedies.
Why Aubrey Plaza’s Perspective Matters
Celebrities often remain guarded about personal struggles. When Aubrey Plaza says grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” it humanizes her in a way that connects with millions. It reminds audiences that fame does not shield people from emotional pain.
Plaza is known for her deadpan humor, but her willingness to speak about grief shows her vulnerability. In a society where people often feel pressure to “move on” quickly after loss, her openness validates the ongoing struggle that grief entails.
Understanding Grief: Beyond the Stages
Traditionally, grief has been described through the five stages model—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While this framework has value, experts now argue that grief is far more complex.
According to Dr. George Bonanno, a psychologist at Columbia University and author of The Other Side of Sadness, grief is not about moving through stages but about oscillating between pain and healing. “We don’t simply recover from grief; we learn to live with it,” he explains.
When Aubrey Plaza says grief is like an “ocean,” she echoes this modern understanding. Waves of grief can strike years after a loss. Triggers—an anniversary, a song, or even a random moment—can suddenly bring the feelings back.
Celebrity Voices and the Changing Conversation on Mental Health
In recent years, Hollywood figures have increasingly opened up about loss, mental health, and resilience. From Meghan Markle’s discussion of miscarriage to Anderson Cooper’s reflections on losing both parents, these narratives shape public awareness.
When Aubrey Plaza says grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” she adds to this growing chorus. Her words dismantle the stigma of openly discussing emotions that were once considered private or even taboo.
This openness is especially impactful for younger generations. Fans who admire Plaza for her boldness on-screen can now find inspiration in her courage off-screen.
Storytelling: Grief in the Lives of Everyday People
To understand why Plaza’s metaphor resonates, we can look at real stories.
Maria, 29, lost her father suddenly. She described grief as “waves crashing down when I least expect it.” Plaza’s words mirror her own experience.
David, 45, who lost his partner, explained that grief “isn’t something you overcome—it becomes part of who you are.”
Sofia, 18, who lost a close friend, said hearing celebrities talk about grief made her “feel less broken.”
These testimonies highlight how grief is not only personal but also collective, creating invisible threads of shared experience.
The Psychology of Grief: Why It Feels Like Drowning
Researchers note that grief often manifests with symptoms similar to trauma:
- Difficulty concentrating
- Fatigue and sleep disruption
- Changes in appetite
- Sudden waves of sadness or anger
Feelings of numbness or disconnection
The comparison to an “ocean of awfulness” reflects these physical and emotional surges. Just as one struggles to catch their breath in rough waters, mourners often feel like they are gasping for stability.
How People Cope with the Ocean of Grief
If grief is an ocean, then coping strategies are the lifeboats that keep us afloat. Experts recommend:
Acknowledging Emotions: Allowing yourself to feel grief without judgment.
Seeking Connection: Talking with friends, family, or support groups.
Creative Outlets: Writing, art, or music often help process emotions.
Therapy: Professional guidance can help navigate overwhelming feelings.
Rituals and Remembrance: Honoring loved ones through traditions or new rituals.
Plaza’s metaphor serves as both validation and an invitation for others to seek their own ways of surviving the ocean.
Grief in Culture and Art
Aubrey Plaza’s poetic description of grief fits into a long tradition of artists using imagery to capture loss. Literature, cinema, and music often depict grief as storms, oceans, or journeys. For example:
Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking compares grief to an unpredictable force.
Movies like Manchester by the Sea show characters consumed by unrelenting sorrow.
Musicians often describe grief in terms of drowning or waves.
Plaza’s words, though personal, connect to this cultural history of mourning expressed through art.
Aubrey Plaza: Balancing Humor and Heartache
What makes Plaza’s reflection particularly striking is her public persona. Known for portraying sardonic, detached characters, she rarely reveals her softer side. By sharing that grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” she breaks her own mold, showing that even those who hide behind humor feel deeply.
This duality is important. Many grieving individuals also use humor as a coping mechanism. Plaza herself embodies this paradox—someone who can make audiences laugh while privately carrying sorrow.
Conclusion:
When Aubrey Plaza says grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” she does more than describe her own experience—she gives voice to a universal reality. Loss is overwhelming, unpredictable, and often indescribable. Her words capture what many feel but cannot articulate.
By speaking candidly, Plaza helps dismantle the stigma around grief. She reminds us that mourning is not a weakness but part of being human. Her metaphor validates those who are struggling, encouraging them to seek connection and healing.
In the end, grief may always feel like an ocean, but through compassion, community, and openness, we can learn to swim together.
FAQs
What did Aubrey Plaza say about grief?
Aubrey Plaza said grief is a “giant ocean of awfulness,” describing its overwhelming and unpredictable nature.
Why is Aubrey Plaza’s statement important?
Her openness helps break the stigma around discussing grief and mental health, showing that even public figures struggle with loss.
How do experts describe grief today?
Experts now see grief not as linear stages but as a fluctuating process, much like waves in an ocean.
How can people cope with grief?
Coping strategies include therapy, support groups, creative outlets, rituals of remembrance, and open conversations about emotions.
Why do celebrity statements about grief matter?
They normalize grief, provide visibility to emotional struggles, and encourage people to seek support without shame.
